I’ve played the “oh woe is me” card for the past month, blaming everyone for my stress and anxiety when I should have been looking at myself in the mirror. I control my decisions in life. I should be blaming myself… right?

As I sat in the exam room today, my amazing doctor looked me straight in the eye and said, “I’m going to monitor your heart… honestly though… I think it’s mental and not physical…” Before I knew what was taking place I was being set up with a counselor whom I’ve never met before but will in a couple of weeks and placed on a 24 hour monitor to check my heart.

Needless to say, I feel better already.

Maybe I just needed some peace of mind. Maybe I just needed someone to validate that I just don’t feel like myself and I will feel better soon.

Maybe I just wanted to be heard.

I’ve faced these palpitations on and off since June of last year. I’ve gone through it all… heart caths, EKGs, stress tests… and all in all they couldn’t find anything, yet my symptoms stayed. The frustration and aggravation is prevalent and I got tired of living scared.

It’s made me realize that I need to live a healthier life. Honestly, I think this was my wake-up call to make better decisions and be more focused on my sanity and my health. I’ve got to find ways to create less stress in my life and work towards a healthier me. It all begins with removing those things that cause problems in my life. Then on top of that I need to make better food decisions and exercise more. Once I get my palpitations under control, which will more than likely happen with beta blockers, I can move forward and hope that I don’t feel this way again.

I’m glad I had this wake-up call before something horrible happened that I, or my doctor, couldn’t fix.

Advertisements