I was conversing with my friend Ro-Bear yesterday about writing. To be honest I have no idea how we met other than I think we had mutual friends on Facebook. We just started talking and eventually became awesome friends. In any case he was the one who convinced me to sign up for NaNoWriMo in 2009. I failed horribly that year. I think I got maybe 5,000 words written and just gave up. Then finally in 2010 I wrote my 50,000 words which turned into “Shadows: The Story of the Kayouta,” my very first published book.
[When discussing my books.]
Good for you. I’m very happy for you. I remember when you were so sad. Now, life is better.
I was a sad little thing back then. I had no idea what I wanted out of my life. I was a graphic artist for a small newspaper and I believed I hit the proverbial ceiling in my career. My personal life was a disaster. I watched as my grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s and eventually passed. Everything just went to hell in a bucket.
My life had been one dramatic twist and turn for many years. Starting in 2002 it was a roller coaster of emotions filled with good times and bad. I made decisions which have affected everyone around me. I was sad. I was depressed, angry at the world, angry at myself and just … hell… frustrated.
Then a magical thing happened. I realized that it was okay to get fired from a job I hated to go to every single day of my life. It was okay to let go of my past and accept apologies and move on. Then when Ro-Bear said that Now, life is better, damnit, he was right! Life is better. It may not be perfectly filled with unicorns and rainbows but it’s better than what most people have.
Some people are happier with less than what I have.
That was another quote that stuck with me the past couple of days when I complained about the things I haven’t done. Some people have never seen the ocean – I have. Some people have never seen the Colorado mountains – I have; and some people have never seen the clearest night sky filled with diamonds in the countryside and I have.
It sometimes takes friends like Ro-Bear to put me in my place. There are so many other things that could be wrong in my life and I thank God every single day that I’m healthy (well as healthy as I can be), that my children are safe and loved, that my husband has a job in market that is just horrible, that my father made it through his surgery, that my mom is holding on and doing the best job she can, that my sister has a loving husband of her own that cares for her and that my friends are always there when I need them.
I’m glad my life as hard or else I wouldn’t appreciate the joy that comes to me in little spurts to remind me that it can also be better.