I woke up this morning feeling absolutely amazing. The tightness in my chest finally dissipated. The anxiety that I’ve felt has finally subsided. I feel renewed and energized. It took a huge step and struggle though for me to get to this point this morning.
Last night I had the honor and privilege of watching my brother-in-law’s last wrestling match (for now) and I escaped my own personal fortress of solitude that I had wrapped myself in the past couple of months. I went out of my self-imposed comfort zone and laughed and played, joked and had a blast with people that I barely knew. I watched as these guys performed for a crowd without any regret; took chair shots like pros and I laughed like I haven’t laughed in forever.
It wasn’t easy and there were several times that my fight or flight feeling developed deep in me and I stepped outside a lot but I did it. I was able to fight it off and even though it hurt me mentally and somewhat physically, I endured it all.
Then I realized something.
What I felt last night was NOTHING in comparison to the way those guys would feel when they woke up this morning. I whined a lot last night about how much my chest hurt. I whined a lot last night about how anxious I felt. Hell, I’ve been whining so much the past couple of weeks to anyone that will listen that I’m sure some people are just sick of hearing me complain about what’s bothering me.
I needed that show last night though. I needed some sort of entertainment and I was grateful to be a part of the show at MWF last night. I do not ever want to hear that wrestling is faked ever again. I saw the after effects of what happens at a show last night. I saw the bruises, the cuts, the scrapes and the pain that those guys put their bodies through. They do this because they love it and to entertain us.
I may have a lot of stress on me right now. I may have anxiety piled to the ceiling and I never know when the next anxiety attack will hit, but I do know one thing. I will be forever grateful for to a certain group of people last night who helped me step out of my comfort zone, pushed me to socialize and entertained a girl who felt like the ceiling was closing in on her.
I’ve created a new chapter in my life this morning. It will be one written to face my problems head on, push forward and to take life’s bumps like a champ.